Parton Me, Dolly. (Sorry for the pun.)

I'm working on something really special for later this week or this weekend, but I had to talk about Dolly Parton's recent visit to the National Press Club Luncheon. Certainly, we've all been tube-fed and programmed to devour these sound bites like starving wolves (assuming Sarah Palin and a helicopter are no where nearby--That a trap!), but Dolly's recent words, below, take the cake and raise a lot of questions:

"People have asked me about running for president, but I think we have had too many boobs in the White House."

Great! Right!? Fuck! What a great joke! No one, let alone Dolly, herself, has ever made reference to her giant BREASTS before. She's known for so many other things. Jay Leno has never told four-fucking-million opening monologue jokes about her boobs. It's in NO WAY a defining characteristic! Right? Who's with me!?

Okay, and we're back from the brink, but is Dolly Parton even relevant anymore, really? Does she get an "I'm relevant forever because of my career and/or my boobs" press card? I know that she's a talent, an incredible one at that. And she's had dozens of Country hits. And well, there's Dollywood, and those iconic, immeasurably expansive... tracts of land... But someone decides, let's ask Dolly if she's ever thought about running for president and we're meant to believe that the witty quip she flings into the press corp mic is off the cuff? This person, the poser of said question (or, in the original Latin "set-up man") was a poorly disguised plant. And the simple goal seems to be... NO ONE SHALL FORGET DOLLY PARTON, despite the economy, wars, and tragedies around the world.

Now, I'm not bashing Dolly. I love 9 to 5, et al., and she's a hell of a lady, but really... we're living on sound bites right now. With the economy tumbling like a Sherpa from Miss Parton's massive tetons, shouldn't the press luncheon consider tackling some questions that aren't thinly veiled attempts to give an aging country star an easy lay up? How about they go out there and interview all the Senators and Reps not interested in the bailout package and ask them why they feel the economy is stable enough to wait? Or, at least ask them why even elected officials can't provide a real argument against the plan... resorting to phrases about "over-regulation" and "tax refunds". I'd really appreciate that kind of transparency... and that kind of effort from our press (who really, REALLY took the last eight years off to scratch their own undercarriages instead of asking GWB what he was doing).

In short, applause to Dolly for noticing her own breasts. Good show. Only in America! Jeers to the press corp for giving her that joke, then publishing it and acting like it was newsworthy. "She said, 'Boobs'!" Grand-tastic. Really.

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