Podcast: It's A Thing! #14

After a short break, two weeks during which our hearts only grew fonder, the boys, Jared and Mikey, move from their studio in the Alps to a new one in beautiful Paris, France. Jared had a birthday. And to him we say lovingly, "Fuck you, Jared. Fuck your handsome face." He's 78 years young. Well, no, let's not be silly. He's 84, but he doesn't look a day over 78. The boys talk costumed flag-wavers and then Jared plays some music close to my heart, music by Ted Leo, who is not at all involved directly in either of our blood-moving organs, but are super dear to us. Oh man, Jared and Mikey need a sponsor, who will tolerate their need to get pumped! There's an It's A Thing! Sings! musical not just in the works, but touring in a dingy warehouse with a sign that says "Theetrr" written in crayon, near you. It's pretty great. Except for the pain and nose bleeds it causes. 1 in 3 viewers will die. The other "It's A Thing" is gone from the internet. Mikey moved, but that the first rule of noose ownership is that you've gotta put up one of those "hang in there, kitty" posters in the place before you set the noose out. It adds drama and inspires. And POP PUNK! POP PUNK! POP PUNK! Jared starts babbling about the Turkey Trot... And that's all in the first 20 minutes! What would you pay for this kind of entertainment? Wait. Don't answer yet... No, seriously. Quiet down. Here... comes... RAT FACTS! And haircuts... and the magic of conversations with new people. The sadness of corporate mascots... standing and dancing in the sun... And Jared's job history. It's RESUME READING ACTION right here on It's A Thing! the Podcast that wants to take you out to dinner and won't try anything until after you finish that third glass of wine.

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