Another Friday The 13th and Freaky Cable Ads.

Today being the second Friday the 13th in as many months has me thinking about numerology, specifically our silly superstition about the number preceding 14, and the recent mindfuck that are Comcast's new The Sims (?) inspired monotone, zombie-customer, musical ads.

On the numbers: skyscrapers, office buildings, etc., all lack a 13th floor. And in the case that a 13th Floor does exist it is in the form of a terrible early-ought movie about science and handsomeness gone terribly awry. Most airplanes, too, have no 13th row. Never has a film been made about that missing location, but you can be sure William Shatner would see wing-gremlins from 13C. Our standard system of time is established with no 13th hour... though military time, in its infinite courage, does not fear 1300 (even if the number has been altered to the quad-digital--yes, I'm fairly certain I just made that word up). Religion lauds tredecimal whether in the number of last supper diners, or unluckiness, pure luck and so on depending upon the tradition one researches.

The superstitious "bad luck" that most Americans would recognize at least anecdotally attached to "13" doesn't prevent us from dropping it entirely. A world without 13. Imagine. Of course, there would be a great deal of effort required to slide our numeric system back and negate the existence of a recognized quantity. I have 12 apples. Add one. I have ... apples. Add one. I have 14 apples. This would never happen, of course, because the reasonable and logical parts of our minds understand that the patterns associated with 13 could just so easily be found for almost every number if we were to look for it. I have 435 cents... and OMG! that's the same number of voting members of the House of Representatives!!!

The skepticism I'm demonstrating is borne in large part from God Is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens, my text of the last couple of weeks. The book is riveting, and compels one to atheism. Hitchens is an exceptional religious scholar who knows his stuff and has seen multitudes of religiously-motivated warfare, racism and destruction. But, even for those who see a greater value in religion, and will not relieve themselves of it, I recommend the read. Be open minded and the book will inform, entertain, and inspire excellent critical thought.

Beyond 13 and the frightening consequences of religion... How spooky, and irritating are the new Comcast 3/4 overhead, Sims-style ads? All the actors sing in a monotonous drone better suited for hypnosis than advertising, and the mood set reminds me of the twin little dead girls that always make any horror movie 100 times scarier when they appear, hand-in-hand, pale-faced, at the end of the hall and ask, "Won't you come and play with us?" in unison.

Comcast, known for its terrible service and ubiquitous "Fuck the Customer" promo-pricing policy, has taken a step back by drifting from the cute pun ad campaign to this one of video game look-a-like hackery and quiet chanting. It's as if their ad execs watched the "Movementarians" episode of The Simpsons once, liked the "Na nuh na nuh na nuh Lead-er!" chant used to brainwash Homer and said, "Gentlemen, we're like Mad Men... take this genius and shoot it." Really, gentlemen? Your cable magnate really needs to come off as more hipster-interested and cool, while simultaneously continuing to sacrifice on service and nudge their prices after 3 and 6 month periods? Meh, I'm being to harsh here. Mostly the commercials are just irksome.

So, in closing, watch out for 13s and then don't worry about it. Check out Christopher Hitchens and either indulge or challenge your religious views. And keep using Comcast--they do have the best internet and cable available now--but don't condone their hipster placation.

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