It's A Thing! #19
And that's right, I'm listening (I'm Nate) but are you? (Well, if you get that reference at all, then you did, or are, so it's almost as if I'm talking to you from BEYOND THE GRAVE*!)
*None of us is currently dead. Sorry for scaring you.
It's A Thing! #18
That's right, It's A Thing! is back! This is the 18th episode, but you don't need to keep count. A triumphant return for Mikey and Jared, after a 6, SIX! month hiatus is a CROWcast, recorded live from the lost city of Atlantic... err... Atlantis. The boys talk goth soundtrack from beneath the bubble of underwater exploration. Despite the completely harrowing conditions, our amazing heroes manage to not kiss for yet another week. Also, they swear, punch, play music, and do NO WRONG. They feature music by Violent Femmes, and guess what? Jared makes a GUIDED BY VOICES reference! OH MY FUCKING GOD!? When the Crow movie soundtrack came out, Jared was 14, and Mikey was stacking alphabet blocks. Look out! There are crow puns everywhere. Don't be fooled. The guys talk about the ethics of selling songs, selling out and using art to actually live. It's a beautiful moment! For an effortless segue! Does God like the Cure? Is he allowed, or will Robert Smith's darkness subsume his everlasting light. Oh there's music! Oh there's mayhem! Oh it's totally mind-dazzlingly wonderful. Can you handle the sheer It's A Thing!-ness of this? I don't think you can. And everyone will laugh at it you if you don't prove me wrong. Listen up. It's a thing! It is the "way of the future."
It's A Thing! #17
This show does not exist, excepting a Japanese import bootleg that you'll only find from buying strange compact discs in blank Jewel cases (but not Jewel cases) from a man in an alley who wears a tan overcoat and nothing else.
It's A Thing! #16
THE SHOW CAN DRIVE! Mikey implies danger of sidewalks today, for ladies perhaps worried about getting out of one man's dreams and into one's man car... Also, a two-man horse costume, ready for Halloween, must weave, no matter how many asses there are! It's a High energy, Good vibe show! Watch out for ska sightings, checkered-braces, loafers and continuous positivity. Also, watch out for Nu Metal... there should be an umlaut there, but we have shortage because of the war. And for the college poster-purchasing, dorm-decorating set, an impromptu review of the bildungsroman/coming-of-age film Scarface. Big news, the studio is now in beautiful, unstable, Egypt, where a Sphinx-head space is surprisingly cheap and tourist friendly. Jared's dad! Hanging up! And weird voices! Jared has sand in his shoe because of Egypt's many beaches. Jared plays more SAD SONGS by sad Scotsmen... It's an emotional show. It's a show filled with revelations. Mikey is a sucker for a Scottish accents. And introducing Major Bummer, a super-hero sent to quash any and all versions of fun. He's kind of a dick, but you'd still read one million of the books.
Mikey wants to talk about the LIVE Fringe Festival shows at the Exit Theater. Jared is reluctant. "Hell is a half-empty auditorium..." Luckily, despite the horrifying lack of audience, they were able to churn out a documentary, seen here at Gas Lantern Media and at It's A Thing's website. The Hippos are greatest killers of people, excepting, of course, a group of badgers linking together into a single, giant human form. Oh and let's talk about Blink 182... pudgy and pale dudes taking in a show, maybe after a brunch. But remember, it's not an insult to say, "That's so Jared!" Or is it? Secular is the word of the day...
It's A Thing!: The Greatest Show That No One Saw
A few weeks ago, our noble heroes and podcasters-extraordaire journeyed to San Francisco's Fringe Festival, set on performing It's A Thing! before a live, in theatre audience. Things didn't turn out quite the way the boys hoped, but in the interest of lemonade and documentaries, Mikey and Jared turned the bullshitstorm of disappointment into a crafty expression of emotion, frustration, love and proper pronunciation of common words. So, like with the train wrecks and car wrecks of old, look upon the tragedy of two young men's lives and gawk and laugh! This is It's A Thing!: The Greatest Show That No One Saw... live, in pre-recorded, streaming internet video! Also, go to itsathingshow.com, for special, exclusive web-tastic updates!
It's A Thing: The Greatest Show That No One Saw from Mikey Joseph O'Connor on Vimeo.
It's A Thing! #15.5
about the event here... And as always, enjoy...
It's A Thing! #15
DRIVING podcast! Number 15. Holy gods. Oh... oh... Shit. There's talk of the incredible film franchise the Gremlins. Jared gets angry. But, we all come together to WILL Mikey to one day know the gentle, sensual, coital touch of a woman. With limited ado, it's Jared Reads the News. Unlike last week, there's actually some news. And then the boys do the bit. It's delicious... with background streetcar ambiance. The glory... and horror of some all-year-all-the-time Burning Man. Deserts... Mel Gibson... poorly dubbed Australian action film dialogue! Mikey has a great idea... seriously. Post-pre-anti-contra-Irony! And that's it. The whole podcast ends there.
But then it doesn't. Because they play some tunes. Car chase tunes. Tunes by which one might travel speedy distances wielding a gun and a gorgeous lady. Nic Cage is coming for you. His hair is a bird. There's some Rat Facts backlash. The prize... went to Mikey's roommate. Is there some nepotism afoot? Or roommatepotism? Dicks! And then... Girl problems. GIRL PROBLEMS! And Jared and Mikey wed, come apart at the seams, and divorce, all on good terms because each of them get half of the other person's stuff. It's like a trade. And then they play more music. But this time, neither Jared nor Mikey like each others songs! They hate each other. So much! Jared's dad! Mikey's old apartment! STORIES that will make your funny bone flip out with orgasmic jubilation! Mikey chats us up with some taxidermy too! It's a special, wonderful, ramblingly charm-heavy, gut-busting, ass-blasting, thigh-mastering It's A Thing! And for the last time, it's just It's A Thing! not The It's A Thing! No "the!" Cut that shit out!
It's A Thing! #14
Jared and Mikey, move from their studio in the Alps to a new one in beautiful Paris, France. Jared had a birthday. And to him we say lovingly, "Fuck you, Jared. Fuck your handsome face." He's 78 years young. Well, no, let's not be silly. He's 84, but he doesn't look a day over 78. The boys talk costumed flag-wavers and then Jared plays some music close to my heart, music by Ted Leo, who is not at all involved directly in either of our blood-moving organs, but are super dear to us. Oh man, Jared and Mikey need a sponsor, who will tolerate their need to get pumped! There's an It's A Thing! Sings! musical not just in the works, but touring in a dingy warehouse with a sign that says "Theetrr" written in crayon, near you. It's pretty great. Except for the pain and nose bleeds it causes. 1 in 3 viewers will die. The other "It's A Thing" is gone from the internet. Mikey moved, but that the first rule of noose ownership is that you've gotta put up one of those "hang in there, kitty" posters in the place before you set the noose out. It adds drama and inspires. And POP PUNK! POP PUNK! POP PUNK! Jared starts babbling about the Turkey Trot... And that's all in the first 20 minutes! What would you pay for this kind of entertainment? Wait. Don't answer yet... No, seriously. Quiet down. Here... comes... RAT FACTS! And haircuts... and the magic of conversations with new people. The sadness of corporate mascots... standing and dancing in the sun... And Jared's job history. It's RESUME READING ACTION right here on It's A Thing! the Podcast that wants to take you out to dinner and won't try anything until after you finish that third glass of wine.
It's A Thing! #13
The importance of staying limber should be the title of this edition of It's A Thing! but it's not because we try not to be too obvious around here. Jared confronts cartoon animals in one of the Alps-bordering countries of Europe. And there are SEGMENTS. First you get a little "Jared Reads the News" and back by popular demand, another thrilling, eyeball popping, genital engorging edition of Rat Facts! Like I said, segments, and not like a centipede. Not at all like a centipede because that would be disgusting... and leggy. Jared uses a tale of dentistry in a glass house (where one ought not throw teeth) to make an important point about the American health care system. Oh, and bloody teeth and apologies. Somehow, Jared and Mikey make jail into the ultimate excuse for being late. I think I'll try it on Monday morning. Also, Lil Wayne gets a SportsCenter tattoo. Brilliant! The moral and the lesson is that Lil Wayne is dumb, but his music is great. And then... oh my. Jared reads the news. About Ecosexuals! And a couple who has married the moon, the sky, some mountains... etc. And it's all been Nudist-friendly. ECOSEX. All in all, a successful segment. It even has a theme song. In other news, Jared loves Bryan Adams, Canada's Crown Prince of Music. Wait? Ryan? Oh. Well. Now, I want you to think of something. Close your eyes and think of Jared playing a snare drum in a patch of paws. Actually, imagine him with a Tuba. It's a much funnier instrument. Rat Facts! Education! It's an epic show. And if you have a day that needs saving... have we gotta thing for you! If you want some Denver music love... Jared will provide it! That and talk of mythical animals. And cargo planes... And the origin of Nature's vendetta against Mikey. It's an action packed, can't miss, It's A Thing! podcast.
It's A Thing! #12: All Special Guests All The Time
It's A Thing! right up in your collective face. Jared and Mikey are joined by two special guests. One is Jared Horney, Mikey's rat and the human Jared's namesake. RAT FACTS! The other... is me, Nate Ragolia. The question is can any of us handle this? The boys cover profanity and the glory of retirement parties. But Jared is sad. And I try to fix it, with Mikey's help, by telling the story of the first time I met Jared... back in college... in a writing class... and he was dressed...
It's A Thing! #11
Jared plays guitar!? It's the 11th It's A Thing! Let's talk interns! Oh what will Mikey and Jared do with a British intern? Or a regular one? I'm pretty sure there's a lawsuit on the horizon. And certainly a lot of listeners made "cross." At least the boys have never played Leonard Cohen, right!? Jared's love of the Goo Goo Dolls in a partnership with the historical internet program "The Napster" led to his first acquisition and experience with a song by the Replacements. It's the attack of the killer lyrics, baby. Then the boys start talking about bowling and Mikey makes up the name of a California town. There's an interrupting phone call, too. But, oh man, the boys discuss the other It's A Thing podcast. Jared emails them and some how nearly causes an international incident. And there's some beautiful discussion of America Day, the day that eats... Wait. America Day: Horses are Just Depressed Cows. Or... hmm... America Day: We're sick of Horses' Shit. Jared gloats about an Indiana Jones style trip... on horseback... among the Mayan ruins. It's an extra tasty, extra frenetic It's A Thing! Jared says exorborant... thinking that it's exorbitant... At least that's what Mikey and I think. And believe me, I wasn't in the Alps, but I can read minds when they are in enough pain. Jared starts pimping GBV again, and rightfully so. And there's not a hot dog truck, but it's summertime, so there should be. I think. Get ready for some pop-punk. Some top hits. Some sparklers. Some freedom. And some America. All of these things dripping with the syrup of comedic experience. And a porcelain doll named Chet who haunts our communal nightmares. Oh... and nudity mixed with pool covers. Watch your face. Watch your butt. Wash them both. So says MOM.
It's A Thing! #10
Holy shit! It's A Thing! And not just any thing, but this thing... is the 10th thing... Apparently not the only thing out there. A "competing" podcast is out there, being a thing too. Weird right? But at least Jared and Mikey are back in the Alps where they're safe from internet doppelgangers. And hey, the boys are doing okay... on this THEMED SHOW! For all the lover's out there, it's time to get aroused, get cozy, but don't crack open that bottle of wine just yet. You don't want to spoil your love-ppetite. The important thing is that this thing, which is undeniably a THING, is all about love. Don't touch the radio dial... it's not yours. You don't own a radio. It's 2011. Apparently Mikey used to live in Seattle and saw Cursive there. And Jared lists the extravagance in which they record the show. All the while in total darkness. With a noose dangling from the ceiling... Apparently the noose stuff just gets creepier. Is Jared a sociopath? Will he be as popular as Dexter? Can anyone be? AMAZEMENT! There's so much story, even to tell more in this synopsis would ruin the crap out of ALL of them. Okay, fine, you got me... Mikey hadn't heard a song, but remembers D'Angelo and that one video that we all remember. Fan-boy gushing ensues. There's love, baseball, stuff, things! You'll LOVE it. And it will love you back. Hopefully gently. Oh wait for it... total nudity. And a sneak peek at next week's episode... with a special guest.
It's A Thing! #9
Jared and Mikey discuss the future of the podcast, including some special guests and program notes. Plus, cabs and helicopters: Which one is the more responsible transport to their Alps studio? Laughter occurs at regular and repeat intervals. Jared's bad habits with bartenders cause some weighty resentment. It's just pleasant. Very pleasant. Almost too pleasant. Then Jared talks about his dog Luka, strange laps, and space maps. Suddenly, the floor drops out of the room and sadness washes over them like that swamp in The NeverEnding Story... Oh gods and clown makeup! Secrets will be revealed! Mistakes will be made. Happiness will be brought back to the mid-line. Luckily, the boys have plenty of money for all the times they'll be sued. And that's somewhere around a million... Also, look there out on the distant rampart! It's a reference to the Charleston! Will Jared break his hip before he gets the chance to become an older man? It's an emotional and raucous episode, loaded with blurts and bursts of madness, and in that way it's just like real life, only much, much funnier. Giant air guitar! Exclamation point (bang)!
It's A Thing! #8
The eighth It's A Thing finds Mikey and Jared far from their usual studio in the Alps on a whole new continent. Mikey attempts to make amends with his brother and father after last week's "Razor-Scooter-broken-leg-Playstation-3-purchase" debacle. It's a heart-warming series of fathers and sons and brothers, and family. But can Mikey's tall tales stand up against Jared's small stories? It's a tough task given that Jared will mention that movie where Bill Murray keeps waking up over and over and over again to repeat the same day. What's that movie called? Moments include: sketchy cabs and borrowed time, waiting tables at terrible breakfast restaurants... (Gas Lantern Media does not condone the throwing of bricks through storefront windows.) Oh man, and there are pie trees! All the flavors of the rainbow! Great tunes fill in the gaps between massive life-changing revelations! Isn't that a treat!? Will they survive to create a potential ninth and tenth podcast? Yes. Sorry to spoil it. But, yes. Yes they will!
It's A Thing! #7
From their remote recording studio in the Alps, this is the newest edition of It's A Thing, numbered 7, seven! SEVEN! It's called Covers. You'll hear why. Jared and Mikey talk airlifting dogs, bagging kittens and clandestine browser use. Heartfelt moments include tales of rat funeral etiquette and a very special episode of Community. There's sports joking, couch moving and blown minds. And a kind, shame-aware plug for their friend James Fluty and his stand-up comedy. Jared lays some of that creepy hidden track shit sound that will open a portal to hell. Some amazing covers of songs you already know, but don't know you know them the way you will know them once you've listened, you know? And oh, comics, Bored to Death, Men In Black 3, some dad stories, presumably designed to create a low-bar of appreciation just before Father's Day, Red Rocks Amphitheater, the PianoFight theater group and revelations about the meaning of life itself...
It's A Thing! #5 & #6
Starting today Gas Lantern Media will also feature a great music podcast, produced by Mikey (of The Most Awesome Protagonist) and Jared in San Francisco, It's A Thing combines wit and wisdom with a healthy slice of quality music. Imagine if Abbott and Costello met Robert Pollard and Morrissey instead of crossing ill of the Mummy and the Wolfman. The charming comedic duo runs frantically from song to song, artist to artist, all while trying only to escape the ancient pyramid of internets with their lives. A fragile love forms between them, creating a bond so pure and noble that nary the greatest sweeps of God's mighty hand could break it. And calmly, in the sweet afterglow of song after song, sweet nothings are whispered that unveil the deepest secrets of life, nature, science, love and French-Canadian cuisine... It's actually nothing like that, it's a thing, but it's nothing like that. Still, it's a great image...